


The Hallways

by milk_and_glitter



Category: MIKA (Musician) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ghost Hunters, Crack, Gen, or at least sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-18 22:54:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7333957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milk_and_glitter/pseuds/milk_and_glitter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I feel like this story needs an explanation, but there really isn't one.  They're hunting a ghost, I guess?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Before we go in let's do an equipment check,” Andy said. 

I rolled my eyes. “Worrywart.”. 

“We need to be prepared. According to the reports, this haunting is at least a Constellation on the Okuda-Sternbach scale. That's four levels above anything we've done before.” 

“Okay, fine. We've got holy water from seven different religions, a mirror, a box of silver forks, Sprite, chocolate muffins, a Jefferies detector, tube socks, tarot cards, glitter, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Exorcism, EMF reader, eyeliner, a one-quarter life size statue of Sir Ian McKellen, camping equipment, salt and pepper shakers, duct tape, Duran Duran posters (five of them), wooden stakes, an ancient knife blessed by a moderator, Brendon Urie, chalk, a slingshot, paper and dadaism, three fountain pens…” At this point the Author grew weary of coming up with more items and skipped ahead a few minutes. “...and silly string. Lucky we have a magic backpack isn't it?” I said. 

Then we went inside and set up base camp and ate dinner.


	2. Chapter 2

“Let's review the info we have on this haunting. Two weeks ago the owner of a nearby house reported hearing strange lights and seeing noises they described as ‘ sort of sparkly, but not in a Nick Rhodes way.’ Four days later an elderly woman living in the same house said she heard noises but thought they were cats fighting and threw her shoe at this house. Locals claim that this house has been cursed for several generations.” 

“Are you going to be as nervous and jumpy as last time?” I asked. 

“I wasn't jumpy. I was being careful. And extremely observant.” 

“Nooo, you were nervous. You're so cute, pretending you weren't scared.” 

Andy glared at me. He pulled the Jefferies detector out of the backpack. “The readings are higher over there,” he said, pointing to a particularly dark hallway at the top of the staircase.


	3. Chapter 3

We crept down the hallway, trying to be as quiet as possible. “What's that?” I whispered, pointing at a shadowy chunky shape protruding from the wall. Andy jumped and looked where I was pointing. I giggled. “You really do scare easily.” 

We took a closer look at the chunky thing, although it was so dark it was hard to see anything. “I think it's a popcorn machine,” Andy said. 

“Cool!” I said. “Do you think it works?” 

We continued along the hallway. It opened into the biggest bathroom I've ever seen. Andy checked the Jefferies detector. “The readings are off the chart! Let's set up the trap in here,” he said.


	4. Chapter 4

We made a circle out of the paper and dadaism between the mammoth toilet and oversized bathtub. I drew a hendecagram on it with eyeliner and carefully lined up the silver forks along its points. Andy placed the mirror in the center and put a small pile of sacrificial silly string on it. 

We filled the huge bathtub with holy water and set Brendon Urie in it with a chocolate muffin on his perfectly styled hair. 

I gave everything a liberal coating of glitter to disguise it. 

I stepped back and admired our handiwork. “That looks way better than the last time we tried this,” I said. “The bathtub is really helpful.” 

“Yeah,” Andy said. “Trying to make one out of duct tape was a nightmare.” 

We hid behind the sink and waited for the ghost to show up. 

“Why do you think there are so many keyboards and amps in here?” I asked. 

“Maybe the ghost is a musician?” Andy guessed. 

We waited some more. I wondered if the ghost was ever going to show up. I was getting bored, and sitting still for so long was almost impossible. 

Suddenly we heard footsteps coming from the hall.


	5. Chapter 5

A neon figure in a ridiculous hat strode into the room. Andy grabbed me in fright. I put my hand over his mouth to stop him from screaming. The ghost walked right into our trap and disappeared in a poof of glitter. Andy and I high-fived. We’d done it! And with much less mess than last time! 

The glitter cloud cleared. Standing there was a very surprised-looking Neil Tennant in a tall glitter-covered hat. 

I jumped out from behind the sink. “Neil Tennant! I’m a huge fan! I didn't know you were a ghost!”. 

“I'm not,” he said. 

“Then why were you hiding in an oversized bathroom in an abandoned house?” I asked. 

“Acoustics.”


	6. Chapter 6

So overall that was a pretty good date. We didn't catch a ghost, but I got to meet Neil Tennant. And don't tell Andy, but I don't think it was a ghost that we caught last time.

Yes it was! 

No, I'm pretty sure it was a badger. Anyway, who's telling the story, you or me? 

It was a ghost badger. If it had been a live badger it wouldn't have let you pet it. 

If it was a ghost how come I could touch it? 

This isn't the movies. Ghosts are just as solid as anything else. 

Whatever. As I was saying, I had a good time. Neil even gave us cotton candy from the machine in the hallway. 

It was a popcorn machine. 

Yes it was, but the Author decided to change that. The story’s been over for a whole chapter now. You two need to leave. 

Okay. Bye! 

How are we talking to the author? 

It's the Author. With a capital A. I'm ending this now. Goodbye.


End file.
